You’re invited and Christmas

I use the term “you’re invited” frequently. It might need to be explained in this season, and well, just generally explained.

Sharing pito with a friend

I picked the phrase up during my service in Ghana, West Africa. Wonderful people and culture. My part of Ghana, the upper west portion of the Upper West was a savanna region with one short rainy season. Generally speaking people live happy lives in a marginal region for subsistence farming – hand cultivation and all. The already capricious rainfall is changing with the climate and making life even more uncertain. Obviously, not their fault and they wouldn’t complain about it anyway - “We are managing” is another common saying.

Harvesting yams and other food in the dry season.

Every little bit helps.  Food will run low before the rains come again.

Preparing corn for storage

So these people are literally, in the true sense of the word, living on the edge. They have limited resources and any small change in the rain pattern can have serious consequences in the family food supply for the rest of the year. No sign of childhood obesity there, although some signs of protein deficiency in young children once they stop breast feeding. So, in this situation should one be charitable or greedy?

Even little kids will offer to share.

Hint: "You’re invited" is commonly said when you are eating and you see someone, anyone – friend or stranger nearby. Sitting at a spot to eat you hear it all the time. You have food and if someone else needs food – you share. If there is enough for one there is enough for two. The proper response to decline is “I’m satisfied”. It would be rude to say no, even with a “thank you” to the offer.

It became almost an automatic greeting as I integrated into the village and learned the local ways. I was able to get out of the habit in my times in the states, but I recently dropped back into when I was on my porch eating chicken soup and someone walked by. Roger, Mr. Chris, and my other friends in Nandom/Dondometeng would smile, but the person I was talking to was very confused. More cultural adjustments required as I move from African to Eastern Caribbean modes.

You’re invited is also common among Peace Corps volunteers. Everyone was always invited to everyone’s site. For a visit, a night, or a few nights. The invite was just between friends with no “benefits” expected or required. Nothing odd about it and nothing going on in most cases. Well, I was an older volunteer and a site rat… But, generally nothing going on…

For me “You’re invited” means – what I have I will share: food, second bedroom, etc – as much a greeting as an offer. I don’t want anything in return, don’t expect anything of those I’ve invited. (The offer has certain western limits I suppose – I’m not a saint and I’m still an American. I do so like my new phone and laptop and hope they provide years of service. Even in Ghana – there are limits.)

During this Christmas season, apologies to some, we can remind ourselves that the concept behind the Christmas story is the search for someone to say “you’re invited”. The concept is present in all the great traditions - secular and spiritual. We share. We take care of others. It is what makes humans – humans, rather than a pack a dogs, apologies to packs of dogs. We should give shelter and comfort to those seeking it. Gifts are nice, but I think simple ones from the heart are better. We consume too much stuff already for our small planet and stuff doesn’t bring true happiness anyway.

So, yes. Now that Christmas is past and before the credit card bills arrive I’ll say that I’m happy to be learning to live more simply and to share what I can. A reason I first joined to Peace Corps was to see how it was to live with about two suitcases of stuff. It’s not bad, better actually. I’m happier, it’s easier for me to find what I have. Perhaps a little extra work at times in the kitchen and such. On balance I have much more time to enjoy life, the experiences that are part of a full happy life. (Not perfect and I have my struggles, so this is not a magic pill or something – life is still life and I no longer have small children.)

Editorial note: In the environment of limited resources like my community in the Upper West of Ghana one might expect to see greed and selfishness rather than the generous spirit displayed. But perhaps greed and selfishness are more an illness of rich and wealthy people and countries – even those who profess (i.e. mock) Christian values. I never heard people in Ghana talking about buying yet another gun to protect their family and their stuff. I didn’t see much greed when Theresa and I worked with St. Vincent de Paul.

If the people in the Upper West had taken the route of greed and selfishness the community would likely have died out long ago. In Ghana they learned that you need to help others because you will need help some other time. Of course the same rules apply to all communities and nations – larger wealthy ones can just let the greed and selfishness root and fester until the core values are corrupted and the fabric unravels and inevitably crumbles. All because people are not invited to share in the plenty.

As we move to a new year I wish I could wake up some people to see that “you’re invited to share what I have” is a way to live – a way to strengthen communities and bring prosperity and happiness to countries and to the world.

Warm wishes for a prosperous New Year to all including the market women of Nandom

Love always,
John