That sentence in 2004


“I think at some point we might want to think about volunteering for the Red Cross”


After the tsunami in 2004 my wife was at the computer ready to make a donation to the International Red Cross to support relief efforts in the area.  I was sitting in a recliner watching television in an adjoining room.

 She called out, “How much should we donate to the Red Cross?”
I replied, “The usual amount.”

 As an afterthought I added, “I think at some point we might want to think about volunteering for the Red Cross.”

When a guy says something like it should be obvious to anyone what he is saying.  I wanted to continue to sit on my butt but feel better about myself without putting any skin in the game.  What is it so hard for women to understand men?

My wife (always the much better half) came into the room 5 minutes later and told me that she had signed up to volunteer and now it was my turn.

And so began my time as a Red Cross volunteer.  We did local disaster response for St. Charles County.  The local chapter divided the workload into five teams and Theresa and I were assigned to team one.  We were on call one week out of five.  Evenings and weekends we could get called out to bring coffee, juice, cookies for first responders to fire, flood, industrial accident, tornedo, ice storm – we were called out for all of them.  We tried help the people impacted – helping them in the short term with food, clothing, and shelter.

Very quickly I “advanced” to a “co-team lead” when I was the one who carried the pager about half the time our group was on call.  You have not really lived until you get paged at 2 am on a Saturday morning and need to call team members to get up and go out.

“Good morning.  This is John with the Red Cross.  Is Rebecca available?” (not her real name)
“Who is this?”
“John, with the Red Cross.  Rebecca is a volunteer.  Is she available?”
“Do you know what time it is?”
“Yes, I’m sorry, but our team has been called out.  She is a volunteer for the RED CROSS.”
“I’m her husband.  She’s sleeping.  Don’t ever call again.”  Click

 Then at the next monthly volunteer meeting I would need to ask Rebecca if she still wanted to volunteer and if so, could she move the phone to her side of the bed?

Going out in snow storms in the middle of the night.  Staying up most of the night and getting home just in time for a quick shower to get rid of some of the smoke smell before going off to work.  The stress of trying to provide some emotional and small financial support to a family with nearly nothing left, not even their pet, after a fire.  All part of volunteering.

Over the years Theresa and I volunteered together with the Red Cross, St. Vincent de Paul, and Habitat for Humanity Theresa.  She did much more in St. Vincent de Paul and at times with the Red Cross (Katrina response in St. Louis).  I did more with Habitat and had my reminder set at 56 days for donating blood (she was a hard stick and so did not donate that way).

We supported each other and as hard as it was, I learned the value of volunteering – those values spoken of by Jesus and other religious leaders.

I’ve never found volunteering easy.  Never.  But I’ve always had some sense that the work I was doing, the sacrifice I was making, was somehow making life better for others, making the world a better place.

I learned that putting myself out there in the pain, the suffering, the inconvenience was so much better than staying comfortable in a laz-e-boy watching TV.

After our kids were out of college and established Theresa and I had planned to volunteer in the Peace Corps together and then settle down as grandparents on some acreage.  Of course those plans did not include Theresa’s illness.  Eventually, we stopped volunteering to focus on her treatments and eventually hospice care in our house.

Now, 13 years after that stupid statement, 4 years after her death, life goes on for some.  I’m getting close to taking my next step to St. Lucia and back to some level of poverty.  I’ve given up the laz-e-boy (literally with most of the other furniture in my house), given up my old life.  I sometimes (rarely) miss it, but I deeply love my new life with all the hardships, problems, and frustrations – with all the rewards I receive here and now. 

Who needs rewards in heaven tomorrow when you are happy trying to make the world a better place today?

Busy Saturday


 Yesterday, I walked with my family in the Lung Cancer Connection walk – I memory of Theresa – it was a cold wet day.  I later went to help out with the Peace Corps booth at the Earth Day event in St. Louis.  In the evening I went to a trivia night to help support a couple impacted by serious illness.

Love always,

John

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